I had a bit of an epiphany last night. A question was asked that said something like “if God came to you today and asked, do you love me with your whole heart, soul and mind, what would you say?”. I thought this was an easy question. But as I thought more about it I came to some scary realizations. I realized that I had been mad at God because of my circumstances, certain things that have happened to me that make no sense. I realized that there is a difference between just believing in God and truly loving Him and having a love relationship with Him. No one wants to admit being angry at God, but honesty took over and there I was, admitting to Him that yes, I felt he had forgotten me. But in this brutal honesty, I also realized that God has used those circumstances to reveal Himself to me. And that I must first repair my relationship with Him and really feel His true love before I can feel any true satisfaction in my life. Perhaps that has been the missing piece; the gap I’ve been trying to fill.
We all come to these realizations in our own time…

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