I’m looking at…life a little different these days. Wherever I am, it’s okay. I’m not invisible. I do count, I do matter. But I’m taking it one moment at a time. Because there are times when those good feelings are there, and there are times when those bad feelings are there. But for me, when those bad feelings come, I have to stop and be honest with myself and God about them. I can no longer be in denial about my feelings. Sometimes, I don’t even have a clue as to how I’m feeling. That’s when I have my conversations with God and free write. Because maybe through the words and conversations, I will get clarity.
And sometimes clarity is all I really need in the moment.
When my feelings include pain, that is an issue. Feeling the pain…well is just too painful. Pain is part of what creates alcoholics, drug addicts, codependents, shopaholics, over eaters, sex addicts, compulsive gamblers, etc. Who would really want to live that way? But once the impulsive behavior takes over our minds are tricked into thinking this is the only way through. This type of living or this type of behavior is the only way to make it through the pain. When really, we are plowing over the pain with a Mack truck.
The only way to truly be free of it, is to just feel it, deal with it, and let it go.