I’m not blaming my current situation or bad life choices or unhappiness or even my depression on my childhood or even my father. I had a loving father that adored everything about me. He took care of me, encouraged me to do anything I wanted, told me I was beautiful. But he was a drunk.
So the alcohol sent me mixed messages. Although my dad loved and adored me, he would lie and drink when he said he would quit. Although he encouraged me to do anything, he was drunk through much of the “anything” I was trying to do.
I know now that he was powerless over the alcohol and it had nothing to do with me.