Happiness. What makes a person happy? Are you happy in the moment, are you happy with what you have, or are you always striving and struggling for what may happen in the future? Well, I guess I’m asking myself that question. I think that for a long time, my happiness was wrapped up in the future because living in the future was always so much better than whatever I was currently dealing with. So I wrapped myself into what I could become and not what I am today, in this moment. So when I actually achieved something, I felt empty inside thinking, I’m here, so now what? I’m still not happy.
I’m thinking about happiness today because I was tempted to be excited and happy about something that could possibly happen tomorrow. But I stopped myself and thought, no I am going to be happy about what I did today. I accomplished a few things, I washed the dishes, cooked breakfast for my mom, fed the cat. Posted to my blog. There were some things I didn’t get done, but that’s ok. I will try and tackle those things tomorrow. But my happiness or sadness will no longer, (or I will attempt for it to be no longer) wrapped up in the future or past. My goal for today is to be happy being a single cat mama, who works a part time job, who is a dissertation away from a PhD, who lives with my mom, who is pretty and sweet, with a great laugh, amazing musical and writing talent. I’m a person who has a wonderful best friend, a great relationship with my mom, and an enormous capacity for love. This is me and it is all of me today. I want to accept the good and the bad today and be happy with it, because today is all I have.