I was driving home today when the song “Please Don’t Leave Me” came on by Pink. I thought, now that’s someone who is afraid of being abandoned. Pink is pretty down on herself for the majority of this song, but what struck me is the part of the lyrics that say:
“I always say how I don’t need you, but it’s always gonna come right back to this…Please don’t leave me.”
I thought to myself, why is she telling her guy that she doesn’t need him? Of course she needs him, obviously if she is begging him to stay. But of course strong women pretend like they don’t need anybody, right? Especially a man.
What’s the point of pretending like I don’t need someone only to turn around and say “please don’t leave me?” No one wants to appear to be emotionally needy. Or at least I don’t want to appear that way on the surface. But the fact is that there are times and there are parts of me that are extremely emotionally needy. And yes, that need is to acquire and maintain an intimate, loving relationship. But why pretend that need isn’t there?
Dictionary.com defines the word “abandon” as
to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert
Related words on Thesaurus.com are
relinquished; left; unused; unpursued
There is a finality that comes with abandonment. A group of negative words are associated with it. No one wants to be abandoned. But do some of us invite ourselves to be abandoned in relationships? (i.e. I don’t need you). I am guilty of this. What good does it do for our emotional well-being to be in denial about our needs?