I Sing the Body Perfection

Imagine my frustration when I realized I had uncovered yet another layer of psychological mess to work through. Body image. For goodness sake, I’m not a teenager. The days of awkwardness and low self esteem should be over. I am at the age of acceptance…

Other people tell me I’m beautiful inside and out…why don’t I believe them?

I diagnosed myself as a little body dysmorphic. Not to the Michael Jackson extent or anything, but a little bit. I’m not making any plastic surgery or Botox appointments, but I realized that I have a tendency to constantly fix, constantly check, or primp. I just have a mini-obsession with trying to make myself look “perfect” on a regular basis.

But what is my standard? And can it ever be reached?

I had a discussion with my therapist about my newly uncovered issue with body image. I say “newly uncovered” because it has no doubt been there all along, I just had to uncover other issues before I got to this one (in recovery language, specifically codependency, it’s described as “peeling the onion“). My therapist normalized the situation, of course, by telling me that all women have these issues. So in essence, why should I be beating myself up for being any different? But it’s just what I do.

So I asked my therapist what kind of strategies could she recommend for me to get past these ridiculous issues I have with body image (again judging myself). She said let’s start with what you think are your top 3 best physical features. Okay, easy enough…



Truth is, I didn’t have an answer. I realized I was thinking too hard.

I had to separate myself from my “Self” to come up with the top three things. I started thinking about the physical qualities others have complemented me on. I had to accept those complements deep in my soul, because I usually cannot accept complements. I either think people are just being nice, or I flat out don’t believe them. I had to let go of that thinking. I had to detach myself from that thinking, if only for a moment…

  1. My smile
  2. My hair

So that’s only two. What could be number 3? There’s a guy friend I have that told me that I have great legs. Could he have really been sincere? These legs? Really? Okay fine then…

3.  Legs

So the plan is that whenever I start with the obsessing about physical appearance, I focus on those three awesome things.

Of course, we all know that physical appearance is only a manifestation of what makes us beautiful. Beauty is on the inside, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes we find beauty in places that we never thought existed, if we only pay attention long enough to extract our “self” from our “Self.”

Can you extract your top 3 physical qualities? Be bold, be brave and say what you “rock” and how. 🙂

6 thoughts on “I Sing the Body Perfection

  1. Excellent Blog with a great topic!! 🙂 I think in some way, we all discredit our own looks and we tend to dislike our own physical appearance! We tend to measure ourselves unfairly against those that we hold in high regard (such as elite models) people with body types that are not realistically achievable by 99.9% and do not compare with our own body types. I know it doesn’t seem like much but having a beautiful heart is more valuable than any physical beauty in my book! Great advice to think of 3 things we love about ourself instead! Going through this myself and you just inspired me to stay positive! 🙂 Look in the mirror each morning and blow yourself a kiss and say, “I’m beautiful!”

  2. So true … I catch myself micro-managing my appearance some times. My eyes, my skin, my hour-glass shape are what people compliment me on … and the fact I don’t look my age. When I find myself starting to criticize some less than “perfect” aspect of myself I switch my thinking and remember the nice things people have said. We are, after all, our own worst enemies … Always know you are beautiful just the way you are … Be well, Dorothy 🙂

  3. Michele this is a great article and extremely timely in light of the recent attacks on women’s rights. I just published a commentary on Ashley Judd’s recent interview about attacks on her physical image – she’s started speaking out about body image etc. From your picture and how you write here my first impression is – you are a beautiful person inside and out. This is a topic my therapist and I discuss from time to time as well. Following your blog – Influencevscontrol linked your blog and I’m very glad.

  4. Michele, firstly, what a great blog! Secondly, it’s true, we all have these issues to a greater or lesser degree, and furthermore, there are days when it’s worse than others. I always reach the conclusion that in the end, it doesn’t matter!!! I’ve already mentioned in a previous comment, what I thought about your appearance – and I meant it. Obviously, how we look has an impact on our lives, but we have to get perspective. In other words, for me personally, when I look at all the other aspects of my life, how I look is only an EXTREMELY SMALL part of it in the grand scheme of things.

    You will get there and it sounds as if you’ve made some important steps.

    We may never be Angelina/Jennifer, or any of the people who are constantly feted for their looks in the media, but we are all, without exception, fabulous in our own unique and individual ways. The hard part is learning to appreciate ourselves for what and who we are.

    All the best, as always.

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