I haven’t been in the best of moods lately. I’m facing so many difficult feelings and emotions that I have long denied. And I’m just sitting with these emotions. No where to run or hide. The problem is that I’m having a hard time reframing and replacing my negative emotions with positive emotions. I began the year (as so many others do) with such hope and practical ideas to carry out my goals for the year. But now it appears that I have run out of steam. Inadequate. I feel like such a loser. I’m internalizing every negative thing and in the process, I am feeling unloved and afraid.
Now with all that being said, I don’t want to feel this way. I want to feel strong, healthy and secure in myself. I know the truth about myself. I know that I am wonderful beautiful, and loved. I just don’t feel that way right now and I can understand why. These past 3 years have been difficult for me for many reasons, filled with loss, disappointment, and frustration. And although there have been plenty of times I have wanted to just give up, I have kept going.
What you have just witnessed is an internal/external dialogue that started out with me being down on myself and ended with me being kind to myself. This is what is called, self-compassion. I think that learning how to have compassion for ourselves is an essential part of giving compassion to others. This is not a foreign concept. Everyone knows that we must love ourselves before we can really show love to others. But loving ourselves is one thing. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves is a unique component within the idea of self love.
“We have to find compassion and embrace the darkness inside of us in order to understand it, and ultimately to transcend it.” -Debbie Ford (from The Shadow Effect)
Last month, I took a look at the concept of compassion and showing compassion to others. This month, I will explore the concept of self-compassion and what it actually means to be kind and compassionate to ourselves. It takes a little bit more than taking yourself out for a spa day…although this helps!
I hope that you enjoy my insights this month. 🙂