Now that I am learning to love myself, I do not need to please everyone. -Rokelle Lerner (From Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics)
Sometimes I feel that my heart is so filled with love that it’s going to burst. I have so much love to give. And just so you know, I’m not just talking about romantic love. Although most of us yearn for that special kind of love (including me), the concept of love is so much bigger than romance. Going through the recovery process has broken down many walls and opened my heart to know what love truly is and what it truly is not. My emotional journey has filled my heart with so much love, specifically a love for myself that I never knew existed before. At times I’m so filled up, that I just can’t help to share it with others.
I came to the conclusion that the only way to receive the kind of love that I want is to give the kind of love I want to receive. Whether this means showing love to my mom, friends, family, or the cat, I have to be the love I want. But as I have tried to give and “be” this love, I have made a very discouraging discovery:
Some people just don’t want to accept the love I have to give.
This is not a judgment, just an experience. There are parts of my heart that are still difficult to open, so I am understanding of the reasons why others are not able to accept my love. It just makes me sad when my love and compassion are right in front of you, and you refuse to open your heart just a little bit to let it shine through.
The challenge is to not meet a closed heart with another closed heart. I’m learning that if I show love to one person and they cannot receive it, there are others who need it and will be happy to receive it. And if I feel there is no person on Earth that will receive this heart filled with love, I know that God happily receives and cherishes every piece of it.