“When I can envision a better existence, I can embrace uncertainty with courage.” -Rokelle Lerner
This quote stood out to me the other day as I was on my commute. When I saw the word “uncertainty,” I became instantly reflective about a post I wrote in September called “Uncertainty.” In that post, I talked about my hatred of uncertainty, where the hatred stemmed from, and my struggle to surrender to it. I found it interesting that the above quote included both the words “uncertainty” and “courage.” I would never associate these two words because I usually feel pretty wimpy when it comes to facing uncertainty. I can’t imagine myself facing it with courage.
But then I thought more about it for a moment. Over the last year, I have taken a few difficult risks in my emotional journey. I have risked my comfort in isolation to reach out to others. I have confronted difficult family members. I have made amends. I even asked a guy out. In my willingness to take these risks, be vulnerable, and feel feelings about those risks, whether they be extreme joy and happiness, or extreme sadness and depression, I have in essence faced uncertainty with courage. I have given of myself without knowing what would be returned. When I reach out for what I want, take a chance, get knocked down, frustrated, and disappointed, and still have a vision for something better…I realized that this is the integration of uncertainty and courage.